You can buy it at Fred Meyers.
What can you buy? IT. You can buy IT at Fred Meyers.
I'm sorry to inform you but the previous host Died four days ago.
I'm his clone. My name is 'Paul'.
hopefully filling-in for him as show-host.. indefinitely.
Today is his funeral
As usual he will be skinned, and his bones ground into dust and put in a box West of the Perpetually Screaming Building.
His skin will be cured and made into a leather bound book called: "Screaming at Nothing".
But now: Traffic.
Running.
He ran from the room.
In a gown, needles jabbing him, sticking out of his raw flesh.
Raw, from the fire burning through his veins.
Running. Running away from Fear. Running away from Danger.
The men who gave him the injections.
Who shocked and medicated him.
His legs were bent.
Still working, but contorted in an unnatural manner.
Twisting, and cracking. He could feel his bones moving and crunching under his flesh; Popping.
His skin felt like it might melt off to show..
.. the skeleton of a monster.
His long tongue hanging out of his mouth, like rope does from the ceiling.
His eyes were blood-shot.
Black and Dark-Grey in his eyes as they slowly melted from their sockets.
He made it to the door..
He could-
That was: Traffic.
We have a story now!
The old Witch living under the cars in the Mall said I needed to say something:
"-9-------B-------1-------1--------1--------E-"
Now I have to- eughh.. tell you the Weather..
Saturday will be on fire.
Sunday will be the day that all of the water seeps out of the ground, flooding the town for a few minutes as it all floats away.
Monday.
Tuesday is confused.
Wednesday is covering something up.
Thursday is guilty.
Friday was arrested.
That was: the Weather.
Some people in suits appeared today in our town.
They say they are checking up on us.
Much like parents do with their children when they suspect them of misbehaving.
They look like clones.
They are clones.
They demanded free coffee.
We. Gave. Them. Free. Coffee.
We don't give free coffee.
But for them..
..we did.
They drank the coffee, and roamed the town.
Visited the Mayor..
Or so the rats say.
They muttered things to each other.. and took notes.
Then later, they left.
Well, what a long, interesting day.
Let me help you settle down.
With
The Obituaries.
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