>> Stephen: JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY!
>> Jon: HEY!
>> Stephen: JON, I'M EXCITED.
AS YOU KNOW, I'M EXCITED, YOU KNOW, TONIGHT WE'VE GOT DIERKS
BENTLEY AND LUKE BRYAN.
THEY'RE HOSTING THE "ACADEMY OF COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS" HERE, ONLY
ON CBS.
AND WHAT HAS ME EXCITED IS YOU'RE PLAYING WITH THEM
TONIGHT.
>> Jon: YES.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE DOING A MERLE HAGGARD SONG TONIGHT.
>> Jon: AMAZING.
I GOT THE UPRIGHT PIANO.
>> Stephen: STICK AROUND FOR THAT, EVERYBODY.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WANT TO MISS IT.
IT'S GOOD NEWS THAT THEY'RE PLAYING.
BUT I LIKE GIVING YOU GOOD NEWS.
I KNOW WE TALK ABOUT THE EVENTS OF THE DAY, AND SOMETIMES THE
WORLD CAN BE CRAZY.
AND THERE'S A LOT TO WORRY ABOUT IN THE NEWS THESE DAYS.
HAS RUSSIA INFILTRATED OUR GOVERNMENT.
WILL GLOBAL WARMING GET WORSE?
IS "TRUE DETECTIVE SEASON 3" GOING TO SUCK AS MUCH AS SEASON
2?
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE BUT I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT
STORIES THAT BRING YOU DOWN.
IT'S TIME TO SPREAD A LITTLE SUNSHINE, WITH "THE LATE SHOW'S"
"HAPPY NEWS FUNTIME CORNER."
♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
CAME UP A LITTLE LATE.
IF YOU NEED A LITTLE CHEERING UP, I'VE GOT THE
ANTI-DEPRESSANT VIRAL VIDEO FOR YOU.
IT'S A LITTLE GIRL MISTAKING A BROKEN WATER HEATER FOR A ROBOT.
>> HI, WOBOT!
HI, WOBOT!
HI, WOBOT!
( LAUGHTER ) I WUV YOU, WOBOT!
>> Stephen: I WUV YOU, TOO, WOBOT!
( APPLAUSE ) THE MOST SURPRISING THING ABOUT
THAT IS THAT THE GIRL'S HUG DIDN'T BRING THE WATER HEATER
BACK TO LIFE.
WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT ME THAT SHE EMBRACES A BROKEN WATER
HEATER MORE WARMLY THAN I HUG MY LOVED ONES?
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, HONEY!
HIGH FIVE!
AND IF YOU'RE STILL WORRIED THAT AMERICA SEEMS TO BE IN DECLINE,
SHUT YOUR WORRY HOLE BECAUSE OUR NATION HAS JUST ACHIEVED
GREATNESS-- WHERE WE ALWAYS DO-- AT THE MONSTER JAM WORLD
FINALS!
BECAUSE IT WAS THERE THAT A DRIVER ACHIEVED WHAT WAS ONCE
THOUGHT IMPOSSIBLE.
THERE'S THE MONSTER TRUCK.
IT'S CALLED MAD SCIENTIST, AND IT DOES A FRONT FLIP!
THE FIRST EVER!
WOOO!
WOOO!
WOOO!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WOOO, BABY!
AMERICA IS BACK!
LONG MAY SHE WAVE.
U.S.A.!
U.S.A.!
U.S.A.!
U.S.A.!
I WUV YOU, MONSTER TWUCK.
>> Audience: U.S.A.!
U.S.A.!
WHO SAYS WE DON'T MAKE ANYTHING ANYMORE?
WE ARE MAKING MONSTER TRUCKS DO FRONT FLIPS!
THIS HISTORIC MOMENT, THIS HISTORIC MOMENT WAS PUT IN
PERSPECTIVE BY DRIVER LEE O'DONNELL, WHO SUMMED UP THE
NIGHT IN THREE WORDS: "THIS IS AWESOME."
PUKNOW WHAT, THAT'S WHAT NEIL ARMSTRONG SHOULD HAVE SAID.
HE STUCK THE LANDING, BUT HE BLEW THE QUOTE.
ALSO, NEIL, WHY NO FRONT FLIP?
COME ON.
THIS IS WHAT AMERICAN GREATNESS LOOKS LIKE.
I JUST WANT TO BE THE FIRST ONE TO PREDICT MAD SCIENTIST, LEE
O'DONNELL, 2020.
WHO NEEDS A PRESIDENT IN A TRUCKER CAP WHEN YOU CAN JUST
ELECT THE TRUCK!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH EMMA ROBERTS.
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