Hello! and welcome back to Queens Versus Kings
It's time to hear some good news and bad news.
And for that I would like to call on stage both the captains...
...Varun and Anu. - Yeah!
Bad news. Alcohol rates are going further up...
...according to budget 2018.
Good news. Liver transplant rates have gone down considerably.
So, we'll manage.
Good news. The legal age of drinking alcohol in Mumbai is 25.
Bad news. Stag entry is still not allowed.
Good news. Mumbai pubs might finally get permission...
...to run 24*7.
Yeah! - Oh!
Bad news. Now you'll find four dudes at 4 am doing the naagin dance.
Thank you Varun and Anu for your wonderful pieces of...
...good news and bad news.
You sure do light the stage up.
It is time for Whodunnit!
One of the queens shared sweet somethings with her professor.
Why is it your story, Saadiya?
So basically it was school and I used to suck in Math.
But, in 11th and 12th I had a fantastic Accounts teacher.
And I ended up getting like some 93 in my boards.
So, I was really grateful. So, I went and you know...
...gave her... - But you were in school?
Yeah, school. - You were sixteen.
Yeah. - Then?
So I got her sweets. That's it.
Okay Anu, why don't you tell us why is this your story.
Yeah. I was just in college and my French professor...
...he liked I knew Mysore Pak which is like this South Indian sweet.
And these really nice ones come from Coimbatore.
So, when I had gone to Coimbatore, got the sweet...
...just went over to their house and then... over tea we just...
So, let me get this straight. When you all said sweet somethings...
...you all meant sweet. You literally meant sweets?
- Yeah.
Aree yaar humlog ka dimaag kidhar aur hi hai.
It wasn't like the French President type of story.
No. No. - Emmanuel Macron and all.
Mithai khilaya basically...
Supriya, why is it your story?
Okay. So mine is also a very simple story.
We just passed out of college and bunch of us girls...
...were hanging out.
And... so all of us had a crush on our male professor.
So, this was around 11:30 at night...
...and we just decided to show up at our professor's house uninvited.
And then our professor, he gave us gelato to eat.
He gave you all gelato? - Iska story toh hai hi nahi.
Okay, Kaavya.
I kissed my professor and I liked it.
Okay. Now we're going somewhere. - Yes.
Yeah! - Finally.
what was professor Perry like?
Professor Perry was very nice ... like.. we had this banter going on
if I had answers ready, he'd be like 50 points Gryffindor
I'm like .. I love you
Was this in India?
This was not. - In India.
Where was this?
Texas. - Texas.
Accha udhar.
Abhi believable lag raha hai tereko. - Abhi thoda.
So kings do you've any sense of who is it.
What was the professor's name, Saadiya?
It was lady. Her name was Jyoti Anand.
What's your professor's name? - Subramanian.
Fake. Ayee baap pe nahi janeka.
Vote lelo. Vote lelo. Mera Supriya hai.
Okay, I'll go with Supriya.
Between Supriya and Anu. - Abee stalemate mat kara yaar. Pagal.
Okay, you know what I'll take executive decision.
It's Anu. - It's Anu.
Alright. Let's do one thing.
ladies and gentlemen put your hands together, for the queen whose story this is..
Can the queen walk to the centre of the stage?
Main bola tha. Main bola wo.
Aree yaar pehle toh premise wrong hai uska.
I must tell you that you've done two things.
One, you've fooled them.
Second aapne uss team mein daraar create kar di.
That's a brilliant move. - Nahi. Nahi.
Aurat nahi karegi ye kaam toh kaun karega.
Ladies and gentlemen, Supriya.
One of the kings got mugged off his brand new shoes.
Kumar Varun, you start with your story.
See...
It was a dark, non moonlit night in Delhi.
In Noida to be specific.
So, I was going in this shared auto thing that we have there.
And then I got down.
I simply like... it was 9-9:20 in the evening...
...I was just walking towards my home.
Suddenly aisa beech mein piche se ek towel type aaya, mereko kheecha.
Aur highway se aise kheechke niche le gaya.
I got up after like... I don't know kitne der baad I...
And not just shoes, like... wallet, watch.
Then I got up and ran to my house, matlab khaali pair.
Aur details dena padega? - It's very sad yet unbelievable story.
Okay Varun, you tell your story.
So, this happened at Baker Street.
I was returning back home from university.
And... I was walking in a lane. I got cornered by two guys.
One had a red test tube with some sort of liquid.
I don't know what the hell that liquid was.
And the other had a knife.
And he said, whatever you have give it.
Now I didn't have any cash on me.
But, they were like kuch toh chahiye.
And they realized that I was wearing Air Jordons.
Air Jordons if you guys know are really expensive shoes.
So, they saw that. They said, "Give us your shoes."
Okay, I'm like cool, will you let me go? - They're like okay.
So, I took out my Air Jordon and gave it to them.
Which university did you go to?
Which university? I went to the University of Bristol.
Bristol? - Yeah.
So, you were in... - My girlfriend was in London.
In London. And she lived in Baker Street?
She lived in Baker Street. Yes.
Very wealthy. - It's unfortunate that...
Very rich girlfriend. - Now she is married.
Did she give you the Air Jordons?
I don't want to admit but she did give me the Air Jordon.
He was in University of Bristol.
Abee toh wo London mein rehti thi na, uske baad...
Tu kya cross questioning kar raha hai?
Dudeja listen, these are your teammates.
I don't believe in this concept of gender divide.
Now tell us whose story this is.
It is my story obviously. I'll tell you, guys.
This is a story of winter of 2015. - Oh my god!
Alright. So basically it was like one of my first few private shows...
...and they were paying me well.
So I better be well-dressed and I literally bought nice...
...like how Kaavya is wearing, white shoes.
I was like pura swag ke saath jayenge.
So nothing, I sat in the rickshaw.
And at that Andheri ka highway where you come to the east on the highway...
...udhar rickshawwala bola main washroom jaake aa raha hoon.
So nothing. He went to the washroom.
And then two guys came along with him.
...and they sat with a knife. - Oh!
And they took my wallet jismein 15 rupiya tha.
One of the chors was like... he was a young guy...
...he saw the shoes.
He was like yaar ye joota bada mast lag raha hai.
Toh mera wallet bhi liya, mere phone bhi liya aur mera joota leke gaye.
Okay Utsav, tell your story. - Oh! Come on.
So, I was nine years old.
So yesterday. - This was in Varanasi.
And I had one of those shoes with lights.
And I was supposed to go to the grocery store and get something.
And while I was there... there were two kids.
So, they took it.
They were like... and I was like...
And then I cried and came back home.
That was the whole story.
Queens, what do you think?
I feel this is Utsav's story because he looks like...
...the kind of guy who would wear those shoes.
Please never be private investigators. Never.
Alright. - We'll see.
But I can believe he wore those action shoes with lights.
Yeah, I also believe it.
It is so easy to fool you guys. - Anyways...
See, they're getting extra defensive. Now, it's Utsav.
Listen which mugger would not steal Air Jordons...
...but steal that light ka joota?
I've an issue with this Baker Street. - Yeah.
If you had said Bethnal Green, something else...
Aree but Baker Street mein ghar tha toh jhoot kyun bolne ka?
Tumlog thoda show off kam karona.
Anu, final decision. - Utsav.
Utsav. - Utsav.
Alright. - Utsav.
It's time for the kings to reveal whose story it is.
So, when the music starts the king whose story it is...
...please walk to the centre of the stage.
Oh my god!
Well... once again.
Pa pa, he's still traumatized. Look.
Can we hear it for Kumar Varun?
So unfortunately neither the kings nor the queens have won Whodunnit
It's time to play the Queens of Comedy Punchline round.
We are going to play - You Are Fired.
So what's going to happen... basically a particular profession...
...will be given to both the panelists...
...and they've to come up with punch lines...
...that will definitely get them fired from the job.
So, let's begin You Are Fired with the queens first.
Your first profession is a leader.
I have a dream. And in my dream Milind Soman and I...
...make little cute babies and it's just a good time.
Ask not what your country can do for you.
Ask kya aapke toothpaste mein namak hai.
I'm great with words. I love words. I love Melania.
I love ***. I love gun control.
No, I just love guns.
Hi, I am Varun Thakur.
Jalaa do, set ko jalaa do. - Jalaa do.
Next profession... world's worst architect.
Dude, that's a terrible structure
There's no... you need to support the base.
Why is it leaning like that?
Oh! It's the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Mumma I built twin towers, its really good, I made it all by myself
Make-up kit dena jaldi se. Iska foundation bigad gaya hai.
So as you can see this is 2400 square feet.
Oh! The floor is lava.
Alright. That was a brilliant performance by the queens.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the kings.
Come on.
Alright. The first profession from which these guys...
...will get fired is a PT teacher.
Naino mein sapna, sapno mein sajni. Sajni pe dil aa gaya.
Sajni pe dil aa gaya.
Toh idhar se red team jayega phir blue team ka ho gaya na phir, okay?
Aise hogaya E=mc2.
Guys, never use Times New Roman.
Oh! I am supposed to be a PT teacher, I thought PPT teacher. Sorry.
Aree kuch bhi karo yaar, I am your TP teacher yaar.
Next profession that you're going to work on.
Bartender
Sir ek drink milega?
aarey Salman Bhai, tension mat lo,? Pura bottle pito ek aur.
yeah lo Baba aapka drink!
Sir ek drink milega?
Haan ye lo. Welcome to Ahmedabad. Virgin Mojito.
So would you like to have your whisky shaken or stirred?
Stirred.
Sir, Waywards 5000 milega?
Yes, pahle wo dart pe tereko marna padega.
Alright. Alright. That was great.
Put your hands together for the kings once more.
Let's have both the captains on the stage right now.
Big round of applause for Anu Menon and Varun Thakur.
So, the winner
are the Queens. - Yeah!
So, the overall winner of this episode also wins a grand prize.
A special watch from Fastrack.
The Fastrack All Nighters.
Alright then, the winner of this episode...
...are the Queens. - Yeah!
Anu, this is what you win.
A beautiful Fastrack watch.
And I want you to give it to the most deserving queen.
I would like to award this to queen Supriya Joshi.
Thank you so much. Go enjoy the victory
Go be irresponsible.
So, that's it from this episode of Queens versus Kings...
...styled by Fastrack.
See you again next time.
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