Waching daily Nov 1 2018

In honor of Luiz Felipe Pondé

For this, enters your next lesson, Jimmy, which is to train your text before speaking.

Do you have a mirror in your house?

I do.

So I'm going to write a text in this paper, you will read it a thousand times in front of the mirror

and then talk to your sweetheart. Understood?

Fine.

Fine... fine my ass, motherf*****!

Trust, Jimmy! It will work!

Do not forget the last lesson!

This girl is going to be yours, young man!

Hi, Clara... I always wanted to ask: you Do you have any pets?

Woman loves pets, Jimmy...

If she says she likes dogs more than cats, you say that's why she's so...

If you say that she likes cats more than dogs, you say that...

On a dinner table...

Sara, this dinner looks great!

And it is.

I have not tasted for years a legitimate canard à l'orange.

Canard à l'orange!

This food should be canonized.

And the cook, too.

It's very kind of you, Flora.

I'm really lucky.

And this Pinot Noir... how harmonizes...

What harmonizes is a good dinner among friends...

You know, Flora, I've been thinking about what we spoke a few days ago... sex, being honest,

is totally expendable in a happy marriage.

What is the use of sex when the souls of a couple are not in the same vibration?

I would stay for years in abstinence and I would still love my Jeanny the same way, with the

same intensity that I love now.

Yeah, honey... we're not monkeys anymore, right?

What is the use of feeding our instincts when the energies, the vibrations are not in harmony?

We are already evolved enough to leave aside this archaic thing which is the carnal sex.

It is even disgusting talk about it, isn't it my friend?

That's the word I did not want to use.

Hey... wait there, it's not like that.

If sex was not good the world would not be crowded with people.

Do not be rude, honey.

My love, have the delicacy of chewing with the cutlery at rest.

You see... not wanting to be inconvenient, but I honestly can not understand this

reasoning...

Basically we are animals, really animals.

And there is simply no way for someone to say that is indifferent to sex.

Pay attention: say that sex is not the most important thing is okay.

Understand?

What I'm saying is that sex is part of of our nature... unless we proclaim ourselves

robots.

Are you a robot, dear Jean-Pierre?

I am not!

That's the point.

Our relationship with sex works more or less like that of the camel with water:

because of certain circumstances, or even purely will, a camel resists long periods

in abstinence, but, let's face it... a little rater glass is always welcome, never enough

and it is more than essential!

But what rudeness!

But you really are a mummy, Vincenzo.

Hi, Clara.

I always wanted to ask you: do you have any pets?

I have a kitten, Jaime.

I love her!

Does it like more of dogs or cats?

Oh my god!

She can not even smell a dog.

If she likes dogs then she is crazy!

Crazy indeed, even more because she is so little.

Any poodle could end her.

Then she should do nothing but to eat, to see novels and to sleep...

Exactly, Jaime.

How do you know?

She's cute.

Clara, come here!

Jaime, let me go there.

Let's talk later.

That's good, Clara.

Wow, Jaime.

That cremous is in yours, dude!

Her name is Clara, Enzo.

She likes you, Jaime.

Anyone can see it.

That's right, brother.

You have to be in the activity now, you know?

Talk to her in a bank robber style.

Does she really likes me?

Of course, you prick, if it was the father he already had scored the goal.

I do not know what to do with Jean anymore, flower, I've tried everything... but Jean-Pierre is always

apathetic, frigid... it seems that he does not like me, does not feel attraction.

Oh, flower, I think I'm getting old, that I'm really ugly...

What did I do to deserve this?

No way, flower, you're beautiful...

Have you given any signs to him yet?

Everithing, flower, I've done everything!

Look over there.

You see, my friend... it's not the first time we talk about this... you need to

take control of this relationship, otherwise everything goes to the swamp, understand?

Do not fall for this chat of sexless life, my friend.

What your wife needs is: sex.

A man is a camel, remember?

I think it's a beautiful time for you try to spice up your relationship.

But... but Vincenzo... everything for me is perfectly normal.

Didn't you see it on dinner?

My wife is extremely happy.

My dear... in this world there is a unshakable truth and a half truth: the half truth

is that a woman never feels what she look like she feels, and the unshakable truth is that man

have a vocation for horns.

Only one night, flower, I just wanted one wild night, only once I feel wanted...

I wanted a real night, with a lot of strength, to take some stokes...

at least once, that he treat me like a bitch!

You cannot lose such a long marriage.

Come on... you must already have some ideas in mind, right?

Firstly, the beauty salon. Cut the beauty salon!

And to spice up, my dear... a bit of aggressiveness.

But what a horrible thing.

Can you think of something?

How about some strokes?

Flower, is Jean gay?

Meanwhile, in the favela...

Missing chicken? No f***ing way! I delivered you this f***ing wagon crowded.

Nothing F***ing fell on the transport.

If it has fallen, the problem is yours and you will solve it with me.

If you call the boss, I'll cover you with punches, you son of a b****!

Speak, great Jimmy.

Look: from now on our class will be in a new office, with a much better structure.

Come with me.

You seem pretty happy, aren't you, Jimmy?

I think today was the best day of my life, Master Zula.

Wow!

That's it, my dear!

Tell me, what happened?

Is this your home?

What a cool picture!

Go f*** yourself, Jimmy!

I'ts not my f***ing house!

This shack here is a real estate I rent and it generates passive income, do you understand?

But that picture was not yours?

F***ing not, Jimmy! F***ing not!

Stop with that bullshit!

Let's get down to business: go up on stage and tell me about your day.

On here?

That's it, my dear. That's it.

There is a child here, Dedé, you son of a b****!

Go slow with that f***ing sh**!

So, my dear.

I read your text to Clara and she liked it, Master Zula.

At the end of the class she gave me good-bye and my friends said she likes me.

I told you so, Jimmy, I said it was gonna work.

At the end of this training you will have whatever woman you want. Whathever you want!

But I like Clara, Master Zula.

Okay, okay, okay!

Are you ready for the next lesson?

Of course!

Look, Jimmy, we're getting to one critical point of your training.

Soon you will be speaking to huge audiences and...

F***ing hell... and then you will have became a true comedian.

Do you understand, Jimmy?

But you need to stay focused, so you can not...

F***!

Today is f***ing hard!

Oh, Dedé, motherf*****!

If I go up there I'll break your face!

Look here, Jimmy.

Today is f***ing impossible to having a lesson with this motherf*****!

Go to your house and come back here in the next class with your text that we will prepare you

for your first show.

Our meeting... f***ing hell... our meeting will be here now and you will be the

greatest comedian in Brazil, Jimmy.

No one will be better than you, Jimmy. You're going to get ready and we'll get to the top together, Jimmy!

We're going to dominate the world, Jimmy! Brazil is yours, Jimmy!