Waching daily Sep 28 2018

I am here today not because I want to be.

I am terrified.

I am here because I believe it is my civic duty

to tell you what happened to me while Brett Kavanaugh

and I were in high school.

I was pushed onto the bed and Brett got on top of me.

He began running his hands over my body

and grinding into me.

I yelled, hoping that someone downstairs might hear me.

And I tried to get away from him,

but his weight was heavy.

Brett groped me and tried to take off my clothes.

He had a hard time because he was very inebriated

and because I was wearing a one-piece bathing suit

underneath my clothing.

I believed he was going to rape me.

I tried to yell for help.

When I did, Brett put his hand over my mouth

to stop me from yelling.

This is what terrified me the most

and has had the most lasting impact on my life.

It was hard for me to breathe,

and I thought that Brett was accidentally

going to kill me.

Both Brett and Mark were drunkenly laughing

during the attack.

They seemed to be having a very good time.

Mark seemed ambivalent, at times urging Brett on,

and at times telling him to stop.

A couple of times,

I made eye contact with Mark

and thought he might try to help me.

But he did not.

During this assault, Mark came over and

jumped on the bed twice while Brett was on top of me.

Then the last time that he did this, we toppled over

and Brett was no longer on top of me.

I was able to get up and run out of the room.

Directly across from the bedroom

was a small bathroom.

I ran inside the bathroom and locked the door.

I waited until I heard Brett and Mark leave

the bedroom laughing and loudly walk down

the narrow stairway, pinballing off the walls

on the way down.

I waited, and when I did not hear them come back

up the stairs, I left the bathroom, went down

the same stairwell through the living room

and left the house.

I remember being on the street and feeling

this enormous sense of relief that I had escaped that house

and that Brett and Mark were not coming outside after me.

Brett's assault on me drastically altered my life.