Hello and your welcome, this is the Cheetah News Network here to give you God's opinion
on the news.
My name is Dick Flelbottom and we open today with the debate on health care.
The Republican senate's healthcare bill has stalled faster than the 20 year old car
I gave my 16 year old daughter for her birthday.
I don't trust new technology since it is controlled by the same scientist who believe
in global warming.
But that's another story Republicans are appalled that the bill they
wrote actually affirms their true feelings about health care and are appalled at its
accuracy in destroying healthcare the way that they actually intended it to.
The CBO says the bill insures 23 million less people.
Ohhhh Wait, this is not a news story.
It affects 23 million poor people.
No need for alarm everything's fine.
The vote has been tabled until they find the right time to sneak the bill thru, when no
one is paying attention.
In other news North Korea launches an ICBM which is Obama's fault
And real Americans are up in arms because Obama has been going on vacations and enjoying
himself instead of doing his job.
It isn't right for Trump to have to do all of the work he was elected to do for the country
and for Obama to be enjoying himself.
The nerve of Obama to vacation while he actually has no job.
Well on a lighter note Happy 4th of July and fun fact…..
I'm not saying that.
The United States Of America could not have actually legally separated from Britain on
July 2nd.
Jesus founded this country on the 4th of July!!!
Well that's the news for today from the Cheetah news network (Growl effect inputted
here) where we bring you the news better than anyone could ever bring it to you.
I am soooo sexy.
I'm bagging a new hottie tonight.
What?
The mics still hot?
Ummm, I'm bagging a new hot meal and bringing it home tonight.
That's what I meant.

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