CONDOLENCE STREET
Man, the Gypsy Bulls are here!
Holy cajones...!
THE GYPSY BULLS
Dear bullfighting fans: I'm Heifer and this is my cousin, Beefy,
and we've come to Condolence Street to deconstruct your bullfighting arguments.
But don't 'cha worry, 'cos we'll do this slowly and with pictures so you get it.
I luv' Pokémon!
FIRST ARGUMENT:
Bullfighting is a tradition.
Mmkay, Toni, hear me down: 'Cos something is old doesn't mean it's good.
Prostitution and slavery are even older traditions than bullfighting.
So tell me what'cha like: Some whipping or me up your-
SECOND ARGUMENT:
Bullfighting's art.
Cousin, hit the spray!
Done!
See? That's art, and we haven't tortured anybody!
That's how we roll!
That's ztreetz artz, dude!
THIRD ARGUMENT:
Without bullfighting, bulls would go extinct.
Extinct, he says... Hear me,
the Iberian lynx is an endangered species. You want to bullfight him to save him or what?
Yeah, you guys keep giving ideas to these brainless shits!
You big sons of a-
FOURTH ARGUMENT:
Bulls don't suffer.
Ow, cousin, what'cha doin'?
- Did it hurt ya? - Well of course it hurt me, man!
There. Argument down.
Ow, you made me cry!
FIFTH ARGUMENT:
A bull lives like a fucking king and fucks like a beast.
Oh, Toni, that ain't true, that's a lie!
Us fighting bulls go to the ring while we're chaste.
Only a few privileged ones, like our cousin Blackbull...
- Wassup? - are chosen to be studs. And that's a-
Oh, cousin, you didn't knew?
Man, I'm gonna die a virgin!
Cousin, you're so ugly you were gonna die a virgin anyways.
You bastard.
SIXTH ARGUMENT:
It's a match between equals.
Well, we're gonna find out now. Cousin!
Take this, and this, and this!
We love... animals...!
And take some more, you bitch!
Bulls... don't think...!
Ow! Ouch! Ouchie!
- He's born... to die! - Mother...!
A bull... is... only a bull...
Come on, get over here!
Cousin, he's done for. What'cha we do?
Well, cousin, we'll have to cut his two ears and his tail.
- Nooo... - That's art.
THE END
NO bullfighters were harmed in the making of this CARTOON.
However...
THOUSANDS of bulls are tortured and murdered EACH YEAR
in the name of culture, art and tradition.
Tortured and murdered FOR REAL.
Subscribe, dude! Hit the bell if you don't wanna miss some more!
Singer: TONI ROSAL; Lynx: KEUNAM DANI TEJERINA: Music and FX
Written and animated by NIKO English Subtitles by Víctor González Fraile
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